A Christmas Tale – And not a lot of people know that….

A Christmas Tale

When four of Santa’s elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce
toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the
pre-Christmas pressure.

Then Mrs. Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which stressed
Santa even more. And when he went to harness the reindeer, he found that
three of them were about to give birth and two others had jumped the fence
and were out, God knows where.

Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards cracked,

the toy bag fell to the ground and all the toys were scattered – some broken.

Frustrated, Santa went in the house for a cup of apple cider and a tot of
rum. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves had drunk all
the cider and hidden the rum bottle. In his frustration, he accidentally
dropped the cider jug, and it broke into hundreds of little glass pieces
all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found the mice
had eaten all the straw off the end of the broom.

Just then the doorbell rang, and an irritated Santa marched to the door, yanked it open, and there stood a sweet little angel with a great big Christmas tree. The angel said very cheerfully, ‘Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn’t this a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to put it?’ 

And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.

(Not a lot of people know this.)

 

 

Happy Xmas!!!!!!

Words of Widsom – Again

Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself,’Lillian, you should have remained a virgin..’ > – Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter) > <><> > I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: – ‘No good in a bed, but fine against a wall.’ > – Eleanor Roosevelt <><> > Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, > and now wish to withdraw that statement.. > – Mark Twain > <><> > The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible > – George Burns > <><> > Santa Claus has the right idea. > Visit people only once a year. > – Victor Borge > <><> > Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. > – Mark Twain > <><> > By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher. > – Socrates > <><> > I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. > – Groucho Marx > <><> > My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. > – Jimmy Durante > <><> > I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back. > – Zsa Zsa Gabor > <><> > Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat. > – Alex Levine > <><> > My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying. > – Rodney Dangerfield > <><> > Money can’t buy you happiness …. But it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery. > – Spike Milligan > <><> > Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was SHUT UP . > – Joe Namath > <><> > I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything until noon. Then it’s time for my nap. > – Bob Hope > <><> > I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.. > – W. C. Fields > <><> > We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress. > – Will Rogers > <><> > Don’t worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you. > – Winston Churchill > <><> > Maybe it’s true that life begins at fifty .. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.. > – Phyllis Diller > <><> > By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he’s too old to go anywhere. > – Billy Crystal > <><> > And the cardiologist’s diet: – If it tastes good spit it out.