Tag Archives: Money

Investment Advice

If you had purchased £1,000 of shares in Delta Airlines 2 years ago, you would have £49.00 today.

If you had purchased £1,000 of shares in AIG insurance company 2 years ago, you would have £33.00 today.

If you had purchased £1,000 of shares in Lehman Brothers 6 years ago, you would have nothing today.

If you had purchased £1,000 of shares in Northern Rock 5 years ago, you would have nothing today.

But, if you had purchased £1,000 worth of beer one year ago at Tesco’s, drunk all the beer, then taken the aluminum cans to the scrap metal dealer, you would have received £214.00.

Based on the above, the best current investment plan is to drink heavily & recycle.

A recent study found that the average Briton walks about 900 miles a year. Another study found that Britons drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year. That means that, on average, Britons get about 41 miles to the gallon!

Makes you proud to be British!

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The Euro According to Blackadder

Baldrick: “What I want to know sir is, before there was a Euro there were lots of different types of money that different people used. And now there’s only one type of money that the foreign people use. And what I want to know is, how did we get from one state of affairs to the other state of affairs”
Blackadder: “Baldrick. Do you mean, how did the Euro start?”
Baldrick: “Yes sir”
Blackadder: “Well, you see Baldrick, back in the 1980’s there were many different countries all running their own finances and using different types of money. On one side you had the major economies of France , Belgium , Holland and Germany , and on the other, the weaker nations of Spain , Greece , Ireland , Italy and Portugal . They got together and decided that it would be much easier for everyone if they could all use the same money, have one Central Bank, and belong to one large club where everyone would be happy. This meant that there could never be a situation whereby financial meltdown would lead to social unrest, wars and crises”
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Baldrick: “But this is sort of a crisis, isn’t it sir”
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Blackadder: “That’s right Baldrick. You see, there was only one slight flaw with the plan”
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Baldrick: “What was that then sir?”
Blackadder: “It was bollocks”.