Signs (and wonders)

A sign in a shoe repair store in Vancouver :
We  will heel you
We will save your sole
We will even dye for you.

A sign over a Gynecologist’s office:
“Dr. Jones, at your cervix.”

In a Podiatrist’s office:
“Time wounds all heels.”

On a Septic Tank Truck:
Yesterday’s Meals on Wheels.

At an Optometrist’s office:
“If you don’t see what you’re looking for…you’ve come to the right place.

On a Plumber’s truck:
“We repair what your husband fixed.”

On another Plumber’s truck:
“Don’t sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.”

At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee:
“Invite us to your next blowout.”

On an Electrician’s truck:
“Let us remove your shorts.”

In a Non-smoking Area:
“If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and will take appropriate action.”

On a Maternity Room door:
“Push. Push. Push.”

At a Car  Dealership:
“The best way to get back on your feet…miss a car payment.”

Outside a Muffler Shop:
“No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.”

In a Veterinarian’s waiting room:
“Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!”
In a Restaurant window:
“Don’t stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up.”

In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
“Drive carefully. We’ll wait.”

At a Propane Filling Station:
“Thank Heaven for little grills.”

In a Chicago Radiator Shop:
“Best place in town to take a leak.”

And the best one for all my friends that became MPs the other week

Sign on the back of another Septic Tank Truck:
“Caution: This Truck is full of Political Promises”

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