Q. What do you get if you cross the English cricket team with an OXO cube?
A. A laughing stock.
Q. What’s the height of optimism?
A. English batsman putting on sunscreen.
Q. What’s the difference between an English batsman and a Formula 1 car?
A. Nothing! If you blink you’ll miss them both.
Q. What do English batsmen and drug addicts have in common?
A. Both spend most of their time wondering where their next score will come from.
Q. What does an English batsman who is playing in The Ashes have in common with Michael Jackson?
A. They both wore gloves for no apparent reason.
Q. What is the difference between Cinderella and the Pommies?
A. Cinderella knew when to leave the ball.
Q. What’s the difference between the Pommies and a funeral director?
A. A funeral director isn’t going to lose the ashes.