How much are granite worktops worth?

A man wakes up in the hospital, bandaged from head to foot.

The doctor comes in and says, “Ah, I see you’ve regained consciousness.

Now, you probably won’t remember, but you were in a pile-up on the

motorway. You’re going to be okay, you’ll walk again and everything,

but..

“Something happened. I’m trying to break this gently, but the fact

is, your willy was chopped off in the wreck and we were unable to find

it.”

The man groans, but the doctor goes on, “You’ve got £9000 in insurance

compensation coming and we have the technology now to build you a new

willy that will work as well as your old one did – better in fact! But

the thing is, it doesn’t come cheap. It’s £1000 an inch.”

The man perks up at this. “So,” the doctor says, “It’s for you to

decide how many inches you want. But it’s something you’d better

discuss with your wife. I mean, if you had a five inch one before, and

you decide to go for nine inches, she might be a bit put out. But if

you had a nine inch one before, and you decide only to invest in a

five incher this time, she might be disappointed So it’s important

that she plays a role in helping you make the decision..”

The man agrees to talk with his wife.

The doctor comes back the next day. “So,” says the doctor, “have you

spoken with your wife?”

“I have,” says the man.

“And what is the decision?” asks the doctor.

…………………”We’re having granite worktops.”

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