Retired People are Banned from Costco

Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina
dog chow for my loyal pet, Jake, the Wonder Dog and was in the
check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had an elephant? So since I’m retired and
have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn’t have a dog, I
was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn’t, because I ended up in
the hospital last time, but that I’d lost 50 pounds before I awakened
in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my
orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that
it works is, to load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply
eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it
works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here
that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a
poodle’s ass and a car hit me.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he
was Laughing so hard.

Costco won’t let me shop there anymore.
Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in
the World to think of crazy things to say. Forward this (especially)
to all your
retired friends…… it will be their laugh for the day!!!

With thanks to: Molly and Ivy
 
 
 
 
 
 

Advertisements

One thought on “Retired People are Banned from Costco

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s