Women Drivers

This morning on the motorway,
I looked over to my right and there was a 

Woman 


In a brand new 
VW Golf !! 
Doing 
75Mph

With her face up
 next to her
Rear view mirror 


Putting on her eyeliner! 


I looked away 


For a couple seconds 


And when I looked back she was 


Halfway over in my lane,


Still working on that makeup.

As a man, 

I don’t scare easily…


But she scared me so much
 I dropped

My electric shaver,

Which knocked 

The meat pie


Out of my other hand.

In allthe confusion of trying

To straighten out the car 


Using my knees against
 The steering wheel,

It knocked 

My Mobile phone


Away from my ear

Which fell 

Into the coffee 


Between my legs, 

Which s
plashed,

And burned

“Big Jim and the Twins
“,

Ruined the phone,

Soaked my trousers, 

And disconnected an


Important call. 


BLOODY 
Women Drivers!!

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