The Royal Navy found they had too many officers and decided to offer an
early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for
Retirement a bonus of £1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line
between any Two points in his body.. The officer got to choose what
those two points would be.
The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the top
of His head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and
walked out with a bonus of £72,000…
The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be
measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked
Out with £96,000.
The third one was a non-commissioned officer, a grizzly old Chief
Stoker who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied,
‘From the tip of my penis to my testicles.’
It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider,
explaining about the nice big cheques the previous two Officers had
received. But old the Chief insisted and they decided to go along with
him providing the measure was taken by a Medical Officer.
The Medical Officer arrived and instructed the Chief to drop ’em,’
which He did.
The Medical Officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Chief’s
penis and began to work back. Dear Lord!’ he suddenly exclaimed, ‘Where
Are your testicles?’
The Old Chief calmly replied, ‘ The Falkland Islands’.