Frozen Cows…

A farmer goes out to his field one morning only to find all of his Cows frozen solid. As far as the eye can see are cows, motionless like statues.

 It had been a bitterly cold night, but he’d never thought anything like this would happen. The realisation of the situation then dawned on him – with his entire livestock gone, how would he make ends meet? How would he feed his wife and kids? How would he pay the mortgage? He sat with his head in his hands, trying to come to terms with his impending poverty.

Just then, an elderly woman walked by, “What’s the matter?” she asked.

The farmer gestured toward the frozen cows and explained his predicament to the woman.

Without hesitation the old woman smiled and began to rub one of the cows noses. After a few seconds the cow began to twitch and was soon back to normal and chewing the cud.

One by one, the old woman defrosted the cows until the whole field was full of healthy animals.

The farmer was delighted and asked the woman what she wanted as a repayment for her deed. She declined his offer and walked off across the field. 

A passer-by who had witnessed the whole thing approached the farmer.

“You know who that was don’t you?” asked the passer-by.

“No” said the farmer “who?”

“Thora Hird.”

Don’t blame me – I’m only passing this one on . . . ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ .

Stolen from Facebook for your entertainment

Are men in charge?

A husband had just finished reading a new book entitled, ‘You Can Be THE Man of Your House.

He stormed to his wife in the kitchen and announced,
‘From now on, you need to know that I am the man of this house and my word
is Law.

You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I’m finished
eating my meal, you will serve me a sumptuous dessert.

After dinner, youย are going to go upstairs with me and we will have the kind of sex that I want.

Afterwards, you are going to draw me a bath so I can relax. You will wash
my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe. Then, you will massage my
feet and hands.

Then tomorrow, guess who’s going to dress me and comb my hair?’ย 

The wife replied, ‘The flipping funeral director would be my first guess.’