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Never Be Late

(Joke stolen from a priest, so that’s my chances in heaven ruined)

A Priest was being honoured at his retirement dinner after 35 years in the parish.

A leading figure of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation & to give a little speech at the dinner. However, he was late, so the Priest decided to say a few words while they waited: “Thank Goodness we Catholics have a sense of humour! After I took my first confession here I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first person who entered my confessional told me he had stolen a TV & when questioned by the police was able to lie his way out of it. He had stolen money from his parents; embezzled from his employer; had an affair with his boss’s wife; taken illegal drugs; was arrested several times for public nudity & gave VD to his sister-in-law. I was appalled that one person could do so many awful things. But as the days went on, I learned that people were not all like that & I had indeed, come to a fine parish full of good & loving people.”

Just as the Priest finished the politician arrived full of apologies at being late & he immediately began talk: “I’ll never forget the first day our parish Priest arrived,” said the politician.

“In fact, I had the honour of being the first person to go to him for confession.”